It’s my birthday. I am 46. How we feel about age is a very personal thing. To some that will seem young, sprightly even and to others… well it’s getting on a bit. To me I’ve been back and forth. As any fellow Facebook users will know there are constant reminders of what you were doing, thinking and maybe even eating in years gone by and today a couple of memories flashed up for me on how old I was starting to feel. It made me realise how irrelevant these feelings actually are because within a moment they are lost as time continues to march on. Then before we know it another year has gone and we’re feeling older yet. 🙂 But the reality is that to get older is far better than the alternative.
So how did I spend my last day of being 45? I had a rather wonderful time at Sissinghurst Castle in Kent. It was the home of Harold Nicholson and Vita Sackville-West and boasts stunning gardens and the most beautiful tower that is home to Vita’s writing room, filled with personal objects and books that have been in place since her death in 1962. It provides a fascinating insight into this fascinating author and gardener. It was the most splendid of days spent with dear friends and ww were blessed with lovely weather. As we wondered and chatted we moved on to the subject of getting older and I remarked how strange it was that I felt the same inside as I was twenty years ago and it was only when glancing in the mirror that I saw the advance of age. Of course my life has changed greatly in those twenty years but I feel as though they have gone in a flash. ‘That is what I find difficult.’ I said. “How quickly it all seems to go.”
She agreed and it reminded me that it is the same for each and every one of us.
It was the perfect way to spend the day before my age goes up another notch.
Of course I do have to play the ‘female’ card when it comes to getting older. I never imagined just how challenging the changes we go through would be. There is of course so much more understanding of the way the female body changes. Not that long ago the peri menopause wasn’t really recognised but now I know that my hormones are to blame for a great deal. This understanding really is helpful in those times when I struggle. Of course anxiety is something that I have lived with for quite some time but hormones bring a whole new level to this rather debilitating condition. The nights when my heart races and I feel hot, stuffy and panicky for absolutely no reason at all, the times when my mood swings like a pendulum and I have no idea why I’m suddenly so bloody pissed off. Aaaah.. 🙂 I write this only for other women out there going through the same or similar symptoms. It’s normal. I could go on and on of course. The weight gain (especially in the stomach area), the sensitivity to certain foods that leave me blown up like a balloon (although having been a sufferer of IBS for some years now this can not be entirely blamed on PM). For the female body it’s a beautiful time – not. I have moments when I have no idea who I am anymore… it has been rather unnerving but I am coming to terms with the changes and I hope I can navigate my way through to the other side. There is no reason why I shouldn’t after all it’s not a new thing, women have been going through it for ever. It’s finding the antidotes that work for you that is important. For me yoga, sleep, reading and gardening all seem to help. I try not to pack too much into my life and skim down the things that I really don’t enjoy or bring me only stress. I have come to the conclusion that to say NO is okay and is something I need to do. I know what is important now.
As I woke today on my 46th birthday I thought ‘actually I feel okay’. Yes I do look older then I did 5, 10 and 20 years ago but I am older and with each year comes a bucket full of wonderful memories and experiences that make me the person I am. I am very blessed in my life and to be honest there isn’t much that I would change. We all have challenges to face and things that make us unhappy but I think the key is to have gratitude for the good in life, the things that make our hearts smile rather than hurt. The smiles are like a plaster, they can’t take a wound but they can help it heal.
Today I shall be mostly enjoying tea, cake, a glass or two of gin and perhaps a good book. What else can a (slightly older) girl ask for. It is raining though which means that I just spent a good 10 seconds blowing a raspberry at the weather as I would have rather liked a nice ride on my next bicycle.
Do you ever come across a book that you just know you’re going to love? Well last summer I was invited along to the HQ Stories Summer Showcase and I met some wonderful authors that night and discovered some fantastic new books. One of the things I remember most about the evening was how friendly everyone was; the authors, the members of the HQ team, and the other guests. The evening was a great success and each author and novel was beautifully presented. I was introduced to Mr Doubler for the first time and I knew, straight away, that he and I were going to get along.
So it was here on a beautiful summers evening that I had the pleasure of meeting Seni and discovering the rather wonderful Mr Doubler. I was delighted to bring home an early proof copy well ahead of it’s publication date in January. I am a keen gardener and I have even grown my own potatoes down on my allotment, so possibly that may have been what drew me to this particular table but I think it was also a combination of Seni’s warm smile and the beautiful display of proof copies bearing the quote ‘Not every journey takes you far from home…‘
So what’s the story about…
Baked, mashed, boiled or fried, Mr Doubler knows his potatoes. But the same can’t be said for people. Since he lost his wife, he’s been on his own at Mirth Farm – and that suits Doubler just fine. Crowds are for other people; the only company he needs are his potato plants and his housekeeper, Mrs Millwood, who visits every day.
So when Mrs Millwood is taken ill, it ruins everything – and Mr Doubler begins to worry that he might have lost his way. But could the kindness of strangers be enough to bring him down from the hill?
This is a wonderful novel and such a pleasure to read. Oh how I loved Mr Doubler and what a joy it would be to sit with him in his warm, inviting kitchen, enjoying one of his expertly produced G&T’s and a slice of homemade cake.
For quite some time Doubler has plodded along quietly on Mirth Farm, with only his potatoes and his housekeeper, Mrs Millwood, for company. He has been perfectly content with his well-ordered, predictable life. His only concern is his potatoes, his ‘secret’ project and the occasional visit from his ‘well-meaning’ children. Until that is, Mrs Millwood is taken ill and his life is turned upside down.
Although I had been looking forward to reading this novel for quite sometime I actually picked it up after suffering from a dose of flu. I’d felt so ill I couldn’t even read and then as I began to feel better Mr Doubler called to me. He was the perfect tonic and a brilliant escape for those moments when life is just feeling a little too gray and drizzly. He made me feel like spring was on the way.
Now novels about old men finding their way have been done and enjoyed before (A Man Called Ove and of course The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry are examples that come to mind and that I very much enjoyed) but Mr Doubler is very different, wonderful and completely memorable in his own right.
So what is it that I loved about this novel? Well the writing itself is beautifully done. It carries you along, sweeping you away with the story. Seni has the ability, somewhat Harry Potter like, to pull you into the book so you can almost smell the food on Doubler’s table and hear the sounds of the birds as he takes an early morning stroll around his land.
As he stood at these edge-lands, he allowed his brain to settle into nothingness. It was still dark. He stopped and listened. A bird sang from a hazel branch not far from him. The pure sound cut through the dark and distracted Doubler from his quandary.
‘Hello robin!’ Doubler said, under his breath for fear of disturbing the gutsy singer. ‘It’s a bit early for that racket, isn’t it?’
The lone, tentative voice was almost immediately joined by another flute-like refrain from just behind him. The birds sensed the dawn before any trace of the new day had become obvious to Doubler. These birds, the robin and perhaps a black-bird, were soon joined by several others and now, after just a few moments of listening, the chorus was beginning in earnest and it was impossible to separate one song from another. Together, this competing cacophony should have jarred, but instead it united to form a harmonious ensemble that appeared to be led by one unseen conductor.
Full to the brim with endearing (and a few rather unlikeable) characters, Mr Doubler Begins Againis a joy to read; a celebration of an ordinary man who has done the best he can through some rather difficult circumstances. Doubler shows us the importance of the ‘ordinary folk’, the impact they have, and that each and every one will leave an important legacy in the friends and memories they leave behind. At times I found it incredibly poignant and sad, but at others I was whooping in delight for Mr Doubler and the friends who came to his aid. I cheered him on right until the very last page, and I’m still cheering him on now. There is much more than potatoes beneath the surface of this quiet, old recluse who lives on the hill. I was saddened that those who should have known him the best, were the ones who seemed to not understand him at all. This kind, old soul. What an incredible friend he would be.
Yet even an old recluse like Doubler needs a little help from time to time and this small community found its way into my heart and I feel as though I have learnt so much from them. There are times when we feel like we know what is best for others but in reality only they can know what will bring them contentment and happiness. This novel has taught me that things are rarely black and white. There is always more to the situation than you can see. It taught me that the easy option is not always the best. That each of us, no matter how old we are, are valued and that there is no age limit on hopes and dreams.
One of the characteristics I loved most about Doubler was his absolute unwavering opinions and his lack of fear in expressing them. From his idea of a perfect lunch (potatoes), to the precise ingredients and method of making a gin and tonic. His appreciation of perfectly blended tea and the effort and time he gives to laying on tea and cake for his guests. As, with the assistance and encouragement of Mrs Millwood, he slowly returns to the community, he begins to understand how much he can actually contribute to the lives of those around him and just what that gives him in return. Doubler is a man with a big heart and oh, how I would love to try a sip of his gin.
The making of gin, as I have recently discovered, is quite an art and the mix of botanicals makes each recipe unique. It has of course recently had a resurgence of popularity. In my childhood I recall it as being the choice of drink by the evil Miss Hannigan (played by the rather wonderful Carol Burnett ) in the 1982 movie Annie, as she literally bathed in the stuff. The drink of drunks and down and outs. Then as an adult myself I enjoyed it cold, mixed with tonic and a slice of lemon. About six months ago I treated myself to a gin subscription (absolute decadence I know but I’m worth it) with The Craft Gin company.
Every two months I receive a unique craft gin, mixers and edible treats and also a magazine talking about… yes you guessed it, gin. So it was a total delight when I came to read Mr Doubler chatting about gin. It actual makes my mouth water just thinking about the scene in his kitchen when he first shares his homemade produce. It put me in mind of Joanne Harris’ Chocolat and the way she was able to bring the taste and smell of chocolate so expertly alive within the pages of her book. Seni does the very same here with Mr Doubler and gin.
‘I am, however, not going to overwhelm you. I expect you’re all familiar with the G and T, the ice and a slice. And that is what I shall prepare for you because I want you to notice the gin, not the accompaniments. Some gins lend themselves to this classic treatment. But it is very possible to tease out the flavour of a gin by the addition of other flavours. I am not a gin pedant – in fact, I would go as far as to consider myself more liberal than most.’
While Doubler spoke, he cut the lemon into thin slices, allowing the scent of citrus to fill the room.
‘All gin makers use a mix of botanicals to flavour their spirit. We all know and love juniper berries, and this is, of course, the flavour that we associate with the spirit. Indeed, it is essential to qualify as a London dry gin, as I’m sure you all know. But, depending on the distillery, you might find notes of any number of spices, herbs, plants or other flavourings – for example, coriander, angelica, orange peel, lemon peel, cardamom,orris,cinnamon, nutmeg, cassia bark, almond, liquorice or cubeb. When you’re mixing a drink yourself, it is advisable to accentuate the flavour of the botanicals that have been used to craft it, so a gin that has used rose and cucumber to enhance its flavour might well benefit from the addiction of a slice of cucumber or a couple of freshly picked rose petals. If there are no citrus notes at all, you should steer clear of lemon or lime.’
Now Doubler has certainly given me food for thought when it comes to mixing a gin based beverage and I very much look forward to a little experimentation (with a little bit of help fromThe Craft Gin Club.) Now it’s not everyday you come across a recipe for a cocktail within a novel but there is actually a ‘Mirth Farm’ recipe created by The Mixology Group and I’m delighted to be able to share it with you here. It sounds like the perfect summer cocktail to me.
Mirth Farm Garden Cocktail
50ml good quality gin
5cm piece of cucumber
20ml lemon juice
20ml cucumber syrup
8-10 mint leaves
Garnish with large mint sprig
and borage flowers
Add all but soda to a tall glass
and lightly muddle.
Fill glass with crushed ice and
the add a dash of soda.
There are plenty of recipes for cucumber syrup on the internet so why not make a small batch and give it a try. It sounds perfectly refreshing.
Whatever your tipple be it gin, wine or a nice cup of tea, I definitely recommend reading this rather wonderful novel and welcoming Mr Doubler into your life…it will be all the better for it.
Mr Doubler Begins Again was published in January 2019 by HQStories.